Personality

What is the essence of your identity?

During the early summer I was walking the streets of Helsinki, Finland (my home country and city where I lived for 3 years before moving to the Philippines). The sun was shining, my step was light, and I felt the familiar power I had when I used to live there. I was independent, in love, free and felt successful. I was a 30-something urban woman who enjoyed the freedom of double-income-no-kids. Weekends were filled with croissants in bed and dancing in bars.

Although my step was light, something heavy was slowly fogging my mind. I realized that I would soon have to go through a major identity-shift. Somehow I expected it to be a hard one, because I felt so attached to my well-fashioned identity of freedom. --> Read more

Healing, Life

Stop hoping, start knowing!

I write a lot about intuition and about playing with the Universe to manifest things into my life. I write about it because I feel with such certainty and experience that this is something we all can enjoy, and it’s something we can easily do. But if you are not so familiar with your superpowers yet, it can feel very fluffy and intangible. If you have no real life experiences with playful manifesting, it can feel like you don’t know where to start.

This morning I was listening to one of my favourite podcast shows, Hay House World Summit (pretty much anything that Hay House produces is awesome). This time there was an episode with Sonia Choquette talking about the three best superpowers we all have; Meditation, Imagination and Intuition. She had such a great way of bringing the concept of manifesting into words that I wanted to share it. --> Read more

Happiness

Are we failing or are we growing

I must admit, during the past months I have felt like I have been failing instead of growing. Like I have given up on all that is important, everything I strived so hard for, everything I worked so hard for during the last four years only to return to the same spot where I left years ago.

Except it’s not the same, not even close, but it was not the future I imagined myself having either. At least not the future I imagined when at the end of 2013 I quit my job after 1.5 years of retraining and coaching, and sat in a plane with a one-way ticket to the Philippines. --> Read more

Life

Space for love

My body now carries two souls, yours and mine.
My body now carries two hearts, yours right below mine.
Just get here, little one, and I will show you the earth.
I will show you the earth and you will teach me of heaven.

I have been steering into my fear for some time already. I feel my heart wants something, although my mind is terrified. If I feel there is a path for me, I don’t hesitate to follow it, although my mind may hesitate and protest. But my heart knows, and I trust it. I also trust that the fear I feel in these moments will eventually subside. --> Read more

Healing, Life

In the absence of fear

Freedom has always been one of the main motivators and values in my life. The definition of freedom tends to change, but my desire to be free seems to be written into my DNA, encrypted into my bones and imprinted into my soul.

Lately another meaning for freedom has emerged. I have been musing over the fact that my island escapades of three years were all about the ultimate freedom, until freedom turned into isolation, and space turned into a desert. It got me thinking – what is freedom really, if it’s not sitting on a sandbar watching the sunset with your beloved, and calling it just another Monday night. --> Read more

Happiness, Healing

The secret of seeking

For most of my twenties and thirties (although I still have some of my thirties left) I have been a seeker. Always seeking something or someone, seeking my purpose, seeking my passion, questioning everything but never truly finding what I thought I was after.

There were times when I was seeking slow, and there were times I felt pressure and panic, because there was such a conflict within me and a deep desire to do something else. Those years I longed to find out what there was to be known, I longed to be somewhere else, be someone else, but I didn’t know what, where, who or how. So I kept running and seeking. I found bits and pieces of peace, some in yoga, some in meditation and some in life coaching. I sought answers and truths in spiritual books and in personal development courses, and although I felt I was making progress, the journey I was on came without an end in sight. --> Read more

Happiness, Life

Let’s talk about freedom

Something quite unthinkable has happened to me. I have returned to Europe, I have returned to a corporate job, and I am feeling incredibly happy about it! Actually, it feels like freedom.

People often ask me why I would want to give up my freedom and return to work. Why would I give up my life on a tropical island, far away, and return to Europe where it rains a lot and where the temperature hardly ever reaches high enough to wear loose dresses and flipflops. Why would I not want to continue waking up next to the ocean every day, but instead opt for spending my mornings in commuter trains to an office, similar office I so desperately wanted to leave four years ago? --> Read more

Life

Not confused, just awaiting

It seems to be confusing to people when you don’t fit into a ready-made-box. I have noticed how my very existence at the moment makes most people around me confused.

Yesterday I was walking with a few friends in the parks of Amsterdam, and while testing the local neighborhood Kombucha, I was rambling on about my current life situation. It went something like this:

No, I don’t have an apartment yet, because I don’t have a job yet. No, I don’t know what will happen to my love-life because we seem to have very different ideas about what we want to do next. No, I don’t have a career plan. No, I don’t know how things will unfold from here. No, I don’t want to go back to the island-life, because I have a distinct feeling I’m too tired for that shit. --> Read more

Life

The things we leave behind

When you lead an unorthodox, rootless and global life, things are often changing quite fundamentally. Today I’m looking to the ocean from my familiar garden chair and drinking my morning coffee from my cheerfully pink mug. Yet in a few days I won’t be here anymore. One adventure, one period of my life is ending, and it’s hard for me to process it.

Not because I am sad about leaving, but because the change is so big I simply cannot understand it yet. How one day I am in my tropical ocean front existence, and the next I roam the streets of northern Europe. I cannot feel sad about leaving, simply because I don’t understand the grandness of it all. --> Read more

Healing

I am my own guru

During the past years I have been asking for some practical spiritual guidance. Actually I was hoping this would come in the form of a person, someone who would be ahead of me in their spiritual journey, someone who could guide me and help me.

I thought once the student is ready, the teacher shall appear, right? And in my infinite wisdom I decided that I was ready. Now come on with the teacher, show up already! But as usual, Universe had other plans. Universe heard me, but delivered me the answer in its own way. --> Read more