Joy & Happiness

Why happiness is a choice

Happiness is a state of being we all seek, as if it’s something grand and majestic. We seem to structurally forget that happiness is actually hiding in the smallest of moments in life.

It hides in every choice we make and in every thought we think. Although we cannot always influence what happens to us, we surely can influence how we look at the things that happen.

Monday morning blues

Last Monday morning I decided to choose happiness. It was a conscious choice, and it took effort. But I chose it, because I didn’t like the alternative. As the events unfolded, I was living my Monday morning in two different scenarios at the same time. Both based on the same events, but both radically different. --> Read more

Joy & Happiness, Personal growth

Are we failing or are we growing

I must admit, during the past months I have felt like I have been failing instead of growing. Like I have given up on all that is important, everything I strived so hard for, everything I worked so hard for during the last four years only to return to the same spot where I left years ago.

Except it’s not the same, not even close, but it was not the future I imagined myself having either. At least not the future I imagined when at the end of 2013 I quit my job after 1.5 years of retraining and coaching, and sat in a plane with a one-way ticket to the Philippines. --> Read more

Joy & Happiness

Space for love

My body now carries two souls, yours and mine.
My body now carries two hearts, yours right below mine.
Just get here, little one, and I will show you the earth.
I will show you the earth and you will teach me of heaven.

I have been steering into my fear for some time already. I feel my heart wants something, although my mind is terrified. If I feel there is a path for me, I don’t hesitate to follow it, although my mind may hesitate and protest. But my heart knows, and I trust it. I also trust that the fear I feel in these moments will eventually subside. --> Read more

Joy & Happiness, Personal growth

The secret of seeking your purpose

For most of my twenties and thirties (although I still have some of my thirties left) I have been a seeker. I’m always seeking something or someone, seeking my purpose, seeking my passion, questioning everything but never truly finding what I thought I was after.

There were times when I was seeking slow, and there were times I felt pressure and panic, because there was such a conflict within me and a deep desire to do something else. Those years I longed to find out what there was to be known, I longed to be somewhere else, be someone else, but I didn’t know what, where, who or how. So I kept running and seeking. I found bits and pieces of peace, some in yoga, some in meditation and some in life coaching. I sought answers and truths in spiritual books and in personal development courses, and although I felt I was making progress, the journey I was on came without an end in sight. --> Read more

Joy & Happiness, Personal growth

Let’s talk about freedom

Something quite unthinkable has happened to me. I have returned to Europe, I have returned to a corporate job, and I am feeling incredibly happy about it! Actually, it feels like freedom.

People often ask me why I would want to give up my freedom and return to work. Why would I give up my life on a tropical island, far far away, and return to Europe where it rains a lot and where the temperature hardly ever reaches high enough to wear loose dresses and flip-flops. Why would I not want to continue waking up next to the ocean every day, but instead opt for spending my mornings in commuter trains to an office, similar office I so desperately wanted to leave four years ago? --> Read more

Joy & Happiness, Law of Attraction

Gratitude – Start enjoying, details to follow!

Last week I started reading a new inspiring book, Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach, and in the beginning it mentioned an old story about a telegram sent to a family member which said “Start worrying, details to follow.” This reminded me of a dear friend called Gratitude.

I had to chuckle out loud because it sounds ludicrous and yet we do this all the time. We think our circular thoughts, probably thoughts we have been thinking about over and over for years, worrying about some random future event, making up all kinds of ways how things could go wrong or just worrying without clearly knowing what we are afraid of. --> Read more

Joy & Happiness, Personal growth

Do you feel a push or pull?

We are all hurrying to get somewhere. We are aiming, achieving, trying and running, whether it’s towards something or away from something we’d rather not face.

When we think about the things we do in our lives, there are many ways to test whether we’re on the right track. Lately I have been seeing and hearing signs about one way of determining this, namely the distinction of push or pull.

Unconditional love does not come from the person; it comes through them from the field and is therefore not draining upon their personal energy. If we feel drained, or like something is a lot of effort, it’s coming from our ego/mind construct and not the higher self. --> Read more

Joy & Happiness, Personal growth

Live your dream – and move on

Living you dream and following your heart are topics which are getting a lot of air time lately. Yes, I am an advocate of following your heart and dreams, but I don’t agree (anymore) with the way it is portrayed as the solution to all your problems. It is not (as I initially thought and previously also wrote about) the final page of a book, because nobody ever says in a soft voice ‘…and she lived happily ever after.

What does it even mean, to realize your dreams? Often this one particular point in life gets all the attention. The one jump towards the one dream. To live your dreams is, according to this way of thinking, a very short-lived sensation. At least, it would be for me. Because I don’t come with one dream only and I’m not done with one jump. --> Read more

Joy & Happiness

The elusiveness of happiness

Maybe starting a happiness jar is not such a bad idea” I thought.

I found an empty glass jar, and cut myself some paper notes. Happiness Jar is a jar / box where in you drop a small note at the end of each day stating what made you most happy that day. Then, at the end of the year (or when having a bad moment) you can read back your happy moments and feel your spirits uplift again.

Or, you can truly realize that happiness really is in the small things.

Pushing for happiness

In life we tend to push, pull, strive and try to achieve. We try to go forward and grow. Whatever we do, the goal is basically always the same: we want to be happy. We tend to think that the NEXT thing (feeling, object, job, relationship) will finally bring us happiness, so we invest all of our psychic energy into achieving that thing. This may take years, and once we finally arrive, we realize that the darn slippery happiness has eluded us again. --> Read more

Joy & Happiness

Who’s following you?

Lately I have been thinking a lot about helping others, and what really constitutes as help.

In her lovely book Big Magic, Elizabeth Gilbert states that the primary reason for anybody to write/create anything should not be ‘helping others.’ But it often seeps in, doesn’t it. We are bombarded with all kinds of blogging schools and Pinterest courses to get our message out there, to teach others, to be the source of knowledge, the expert others look up to, to find our niche, to drill down on the unique selling point and then gain followers. --> Read more