If you are anything like me (INFJ, HSP) you know how it feels when your nervous system is hyped up and over-stimulated. This can happen after a long day, or even after some intensive hours of stimulation, at which point I can usually kiss my concentration goodbye. I get short tempered, my body is tense and my mind feels frazzled and restless. Although I know I need to calm myself down in order to become myself again (or to do anything productive), once in motion, it’s hard to stop these wheels from spinning.
Last week I started reading a new inspiring book, Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach, and in the beginning it mentioned an old story about a telegram sent to a family member which said “Start worrying, details to follow.” which reminded me of a dear friend called gratitude.
I had to chuckle out loud, because it sounds ludicrous and yet we do this all the time. We think our circular thoughts, probably thoughts that we have been thinking about over and over for years, worrying about some random future event, making up all kinds of ways that things could go wrong or just worrying without clearly knowing what we are afraid of.
I’m a big advocate of ordering fun things and life events from the Universe, and watching how miracles come into existence. I play and manifest a light and playful goal such as “please show me ladybugs” or “give me airfare to visit home”, and then there are the more serious, ‘real-life’ goals and ambitions I wish to achieve.
Recently I realized in one, tearful but strikingly clear moment the difference between goals, vision and the mission in life, and how these are linked.
Do you identify as being a Highly Sensitive Person, but at the same time you enjoy experiencing different sensations and adventures as well? You can be both!
Last year, I made some important discoveries about myself as an introvert and an INFJ personality type. Although I tried to take my introversion into account when planning my days, something was off. I had grown more and more exhausted and deflated, and I felt like I was overwhelmed and bored at the same time — at times all in the same day. In fact, I honestly thought I was going crazy.
We are all hurrying to get somewhere. We are aiming, achieving, trying and running, whether it’s towards something or away from something we’d rather not face.
When we think about the things we do in our lives, there are many ways to test whether we’re on the right track. Lately I have been seeing and hearing signs about one way of determining this, namely the distinction of push or pull.
Unconditional love does not come from the person; it comes through them from the field and is therefore not draining upon their personal energy. If we feel drained, or like something is a lot of effort, it’s coming from our ego/mind construct and not the higher self.
There is one important stage in a change process, and in life process, which is less talked about, namely the messy middle.
The point where everything is in the air (again), where one dream is about to end but another has yet to announce its arrival. A stage when we are face to face with the fact that life is unpredictable, it’s messy and completely uncontrollable. We have plans, but there is life, and for a moment we end up breathing into a paper bag trying not to burst into full blown panic.
Sometimes, in the strangest places, we get to feel something unexpected. Life, love, connection, the Universe. Something takes us far and out, or deep within.
Sometimes this is all we are looking for. All the searching and traveling, maybe this is all we ever wanted from life. This feeling of being alive, feeling an inexplicable connection to another being, or rather, through another a connection to the entire universe.
A few days ago I was sitting in a bus, somewhere in the middle of the Philippines. The bus had stopped for a small break in a village, and while I was waiting for the bus to move again, my eyes heavy and tired, something caught my ears, and my heart. At the front of the bus stood a small blind boy singing. He had a red cassette player held tightly to his chest, and the more I tuned into his song over the background noise of the station, the more he captivated me. This boy was maybe ten years old, and whereas I usually don’t interact with the many begging children we see during our travels (I wish they would go to school, I’m not going to fund them singing & dancing in bus stations), there was something different about this one.
Living you dream and following your heart are topics which are getting a lot of air time lately. Yes, I am an advocate of following your heart and dreams, but I don’t agree (anymore) with the way it is portrayed as the solution to all your problems. It is not (as I initially thought and previously also wrote about) the final page of a book, because nobody ever says in a soft voice ‘…and she lived happily ever after.‘
What does it even mean, to realize your dreams? Often this one particular point in life gets all the attention. The one jump towards the one dream. To live your dreams is, according to this way of thinking, a very short-lived sensation. At least, it would be for me. Because I don’t come with one dream only and I’m not done with one jump.
I recently had the pleasure of long conversations about everything deep and meaningful with a friend I’ve known for a while. We are both seekers and self-improvers, observers and always striving to have something touch our hearts and bring us joy.
While we have a different set of meanings to different areas of life, we both have areas of life that seem to have gained an unproportionally big role in happiness, elevating above the rest. For me this has been work, or rather, finding work that feels meaningful and fitting for me. This search has become such an important issue for me, the END STATION, that I loose my cool if (and when) I don’t seem to find it. I search and analyze why every choice I make ends up being ‘not IT’ and the pressure builds up. When do I arrive, when can I stop looking?
“Maybe starting a happiness jar is not such a bad idea” I thought.
I found an empty glass jar, and cut myself some paper notes. Happiness Jar is a jar / box where in you drop a small note at the end of each day stating what made you most happy that day. Then, at the end of the year (or when having a bad moment) you can read back your happy moments and feel your spirits uplift again.
Or, you can truly realize that happiness really is in the small things.
Pushing for happiness
In life we tend to push, pull, strive and try to achieve. We try to go forward and grow. Whatever we do, the goal is basically always the same: we want to be happy. We tend to think that the NEXT thing (feeling, object, job, relationship) will finally bring us happiness, so we invest all of our psychic energy into achieving that thing. This may take years, and once we finally arrive, we realize that the darn slippery happiness has eluded us again.