Healing

Not all grounds are equally fertile

Happiness is an inside job. We are responsible for our feelings, we are responsible for the way we interpret the events in our environment, how we choose to see ourselves, how we turn the perceived reality into a story in our minds.

But this way of thinking can sometimes be more harmful than constructive.

Whereas it is true, that we create our own reality and can influence the experiences we have, there are still some grounds that are more fertile for us than others.

Not all soil has the same effect on you --> Read more

Healing

All things heavy and light

Every time I have added space into my life, every time I have dared to let go, great things have followed. Amazing things, in fact. When I have let go of the crippling feeling of trying to fill any hole within me left by the past, I have stepped into a space of freedom and creativity. But the creativity and freedom never came easy. It was always a struggle to let go, to allow there to be emptiness and space around me, and trusting that life would indeed carry me further.

It was a struggle to let go of my marriage, but it needed to be let loose. Few years after that it was a struggle to start letting go of all the physical things I had gathered around me, and to create space into my life, literally. But once I started, it got easier and easier. The more space there was, the more space I craved for. The more freedom I felt. At the end I was sitting in the middle of my empty apartment, after ridding myself of all things heavy, and I felt so incredibly light. I moved to another country, and had so much space around me. Space in my tiny apartement, space in my calendar, space in my evenings to wonder around and get lost. It was fantastic, because anything could happen. --> Read more

Life

What would Dory do?

We went to see the movie Finding Dory yesterday, and I adore this little fish who does not make plans and just keeps swimming. And as a diver it’s fantastic to see the underwater life made into a cartoon, but that’s not the main point. The main point for me is Dory and she did not disappoint me this time either.

Because she really is on to something important.

What feels better right now?

At one point Dory was lost and confused, and she did not know what to do. She looked around and asked herself “what do I see?” She saw a lot of water on one side, and sea grass on the other. She decided that sea grass was better, so she swam there. In the sea grass she asked herself again, what do I see? There was a rock, and then there was sand. She liked sand, it was squishy, she liked squishy things, so she swam towards the sand. While she was swimming towards the sand, she saw a sea shell. “I love sea shells” she would tell herself, and she would start to follow the sea shells. Eventually leading her to where she wanted to be. --> Read more

Travel

The concept of paradise

It has been 2.5 years since I left Europe and started my island life in the Philippines. It has been 1.5 years since we last set foot in Europe. When we first left, it was paradise that we were heading towards. The white beaches, coconuts, azure sea and abundance of time and nature. Yesterday we landed on European soil again (for a month visit), and as the little image of the airplane kept approaching Europe on the interactive map on the screen in front of me, I felt happier and happier. I felt so blessed to be able to visit what now felt like paradise. --> Read more

Creativity

Who’s following you?

Lately I have been thinking a lot about helping others, and what really constitutes as help.

In her lovely book Big Magic, Elizabeth Gilbert states that the primary reason for anybody to write/create anything should not be ‘helping others.’ But it often seeps in, doesn’t it. We are bombarded with all kinds of blogging schools and Pinterest courses to get our message out there, to teach others, to be the source of knowledge, the expert others look up to, to find our niche, to drill down on the unique selling point and then gain followers. --> Read more

Life

I want to be without limits

It surprises me time and time again how much our own thoughts are actually limiting us. I know this, I know how our thoughts are creating the reality we live in, and yet I make up weird stories about myself all the time.

I tell myself: Girl, you are the kind of person who does this, you are the kind of gal who has done that. And then I let my self-made (and often very limiting) definition of myself set in, form a tight box around me until I get so uncomfortable that I cannot move anymore. Only when squeezed and pressed from all sides do I start to think that perhaps I should relocate. I start to look around for a bigger place, a bigger box or a shell, and realize that the walls around me are my own. Nobody is telling me what kind of person I am, or should be (well, actually a lot people are, directly and indirectly, but at the end of the day I decide to play along or not). --> Read more

Personality

Mind your personality

For most of my life I have felt mildly misfitting. As if I was not truly fitting where I was, I felt I was different without knowing exactly how. Round pig in a square hole, and it took me a long time to figure out why. Only until I realized that I was a Introverted, Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) and a Sensation Seeker (HSS), that things started to make sense to me.

 In most of my jobs I felt unauthentic to some extent, even in the ones I studied for, not just in the occasional in-between jobs. I felt like I needed to pretend to like it, to fake excitement in the tasks that were expected of me, and this faking actually took a lot of energy. In the beginning of my career I didn’t know any better. I just went along, faking away, thinking everyone must fake it a bit. I always felt somewhat left out when people showed a lot of excitement towards their profession, since I never could really match the enthusiasm some of my colleagues were showing. In the end, I often felt left out because of it. --> Read more

Happiness

The things I forgot about happy endings

We all have dreams. We cherish them and we chase them, and eventually we reach them (some of them, at least). When you are on your way to your dreams, it often seems like you’re running towards a standing, static goal. As if you can almost see how many laps you still have to run, and you can clearly see the finish line.

Once you cross, you can stop running. Right? I mean, that’s it and we’re done! Dream – CHECK and life can settle into happily ever after between you and your dream. The longer you have been running, the more you are expecting this happy ending to swoop you off your tired feet. Finally – you can stop running now. --> Read more

Life

How fast is fast enough?

When changing the course of our lives, what is the appropriate tempo? When do we consider ourselves successful, and when is it considered a failure if we return to do the same things we did before? Is a few months considered a failure, is two years safe from self ridicule when turning around and coming back?

When are we successful with change?

I had an interesting conversation with a fellow life-changer, someone who left her corporate job to do something different, only to realize that maybe some changes in life need a bit more time. We often see others making decisions about their lives, making changes that seem sudden and rash even, making big changes with very little preparation time. --> Read more

Yoga

The Power of Yin Yoga (& why it often makes me cry)

*Read the full article from Elephant Journal

Yin yoga is a powerful thing, in all its quietness. We often mistake quietness and lightness with ease. But what we tend to forget is that when the body is still, when there are no distractions, the mind starts to have a fiesta of its own, which is not always comfortable.

Actually it’s hardly ever comfortable.

When we allow the body to sit still for a longer period of time, the Yang energy within starts to rise. It wants to come out and play, and unless we can delicately direct this energy down and inwards, it will take over. The monkey mind will start its chatter.  --> Read more