It has been 2.5 years since I left Europe and started my island life in the Philippines. It has been 1.5 years since we last set foot in Europe. When we first left, it was paradise that we were heading towards. The white beaches, coconuts, azure sea and abundance of time and nature. Yesterday we landed on European soil again (for a month visit), and as the little image of the airplane kept approaching Europe on the interactive map on the screen in front of me, I felt happier and happier. I felt so blessed to be able to visit what now felt like paradise.
Lately I have been thinking a lot about helping others, and what really constitutes as help.
In her lovely book Big Magic, Elizabeth Gilbert states that the primary reason for anybody to write/create anything should not be ‘helping others.’ But it often seeps in, doesn’t it. We are bombarded with all kinds of blogging schools and Pinterest courses to get our message out there, to teach others, to be the source of knowledge, the expert others look up to, to find our niche, to drill down on the unique selling point and then gain followers.
It surprises me time and time again how much our own thoughts are actually limiting us. I know this, I know how our thoughts are creating the reality we live in, and yet I make up weird stories about myself all the time.
I tell myself: Girl, you are the kind of person who does this, you are the kind of gal who has done that. And then I let my self-made (and often very limiting) definition of myself set in, form a tight box around me until I get so uncomfortable that I cannot move anymore. Only when squeezed and pressed from all sides do I start to think that perhaps I should relocate. I start to look around for a bigger place, a bigger box or a shell, and realize that the walls around me are my own. Nobody is telling me what kind of person I am, or should be (well, actually a lot people are, directly and indirectly, but at the end of the day I decide to play along or not).
For most of my life I have felt mildly misfitting. As if I was not truly fitting where I was, I felt I was different without knowing exactly how. Round pig in a square hole, and it took me a long time to figure out why. Only until I realized that I was a Introverted, Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) and a Sensation Seeker (HSS), that things started to make sense to me.
In most of my jobs I felt unauthentic to some extent, even in the ones I studied for, not just in the occasional in-between jobs. I felt like I needed to pretend to like it, to fake excitement in the tasks that were expected of me, and this faking actually took a lot of energy. In the beginning of my career I didn’t know any better. I just went along, faking away, thinking everyone must fake it a bit. I always felt somewhat left out when people showed a lot of excitement towards their profession, since I never could really match the enthusiasm some of my colleagues were showing. In the end, I often felt left out because of it.
We all have dreams. We cherish them and we chase them, and eventually we reach them (some of them, at least). When you are on your way to your dreams, it often seems like you’re running towards a standing, static goal. As if you can almost see how many laps you still have to run, and you can clearly see the finish line.
Once you cross, you can stop running. Right? I mean, that’s it and we’re done! Dream – CHECK and life can settle into happily ever after between you and your dream. The longer you have been running, the more you are expecting this happy ending to swoop you off your tired feet. Finally – you can stop running now.
When changing the course of our lives, what is the appropriate tempo? When do we consider ourselves successful, and when is it considered a failure if we return to do the same things we did before? Is a few months considered a failure, is two years safe from self ridicule when turning around and coming back?
When are we successful with change?
I had an interesting conversation with a fellow life-changer, someone who left her corporate job to do something different, only to realize that maybe some changes in life need a bit more time. We often see others making decisions about their lives, making changes that seem sudden and rash even, making big changes with very little preparation time.
*Read the full article from Elephant Journal
Yin yoga is a powerful thing, in all its quietness. We often mistake quietness and lightness with ease. But what we tend to forget is that when the body is still, when there are no distractions, the mind starts to have a fiesta of its own, which is not always comfortable.
It’s hardly ever comfortable.
The Yang energy within starts to rise, it wants to come out and play, and unless we can delicately direct this energy down and inwards, it will take over.
I often play with the Universe and the Law of Attraction, in fact it is one of my favorite things to do. Recently I requested to see a ladybug. I wanted Universe to show me a ladybug to confirm I was on the right path, and that the Universe got my back. And also because I wanted to see how Universe can deliver anything we desire (if we believe it to be possible).
I wanted a ladybug because I have never seen one here in the tropics. Nobody has ever seen one here. Honestly, I thought it was going to come in a form or a cartoon, painting or whatever else the mighty Universe would come up with. Because to get a live one, I did not think this would be possible, but who was I to judge.
I see my reflection on the skytrain window, against the dark Bangkok night. I appear older than I feel, and I wonder if 10 years is really so terribly much? I am thankful of the years I spent alone, between all the seriousness and settlement. Of the years when my wardrobe was filled with dresses and skirts shining in disco lights. When the I shoes I loved wearing the most were my disco boots, my lucky boots.
How time truly passes. How phases of life truly pass without a warning. How short youth is, and how it has passed before you even realized what you should be doing with it. And how I refuse to think mine is over.
The Law of attraction is a simple force to play with, but somehow we stumble in this very simplicity.
The main principles of Law of attraction became very evident to me again the other day. I will never grow tired of learning and discovering these truths. I will never grow tired of this game. When you play with this force of nature, you will soon discover two truths: first, it will deliver you exactly what you ordered, so be careful how you formulate your words. Secondly, you will have to let go, and enjoy the journey while you trust fully that your order is taken seriously.