Joy & Happiness, Personal growth

Do you feel a push or pull?

We are all hurrying to get somewhere. We are aiming, achieving, trying and running, whether it’s towards something or away from something we’d rather not face.

When we think about the things we do in our lives, there are many ways to test whether we’re on the right track. Lately I have been seeing and hearing signs about one way of determining this, namely the distinction of push or pull.

Unconditional love does not come from the person; it comes through them from the field and is therefore not draining upon their personal energy. If we feel drained, or like something is a lot of effort, it’s coming from our ego/mind construct and not the higher self. --> Read more

Personal growth

The messy middle

There is one important stage in a change process, and in life process, which is less talked about. I call this the the messy middle.

The point where everything is in the air (again), where one dream is about to end but another has yet to announce its arrival. A stage when we are face to face with the fact that life is unpredictable, it’s messy and completely uncontrollable. We have plans, but there is life, and for a moment we end up breathing into a paper bag trying not to burst into full blown panic. --> Read more

Joy & Happiness, Personal growth

Live your dream – and move on

Living you dream and following your heart are topics which are getting a lot of air time lately. Yes, I am an advocate of following your heart and dreams, but I don’t agree (anymore) with the way it is portrayed as the solution to all your problems. It is not (as I initially thought and previously also wrote about) the final page of a book, because nobody ever says in a soft voice ‘…and she lived happily ever after.

What does it even mean, to realize your dreams? Often this one particular point in life gets all the attention. The one jump towards the one dream. To live your dreams is, according to this way of thinking, a very short-lived sensation. At least, it would be for me. Because I don’t come with one dream only and I’m not done with one jump. --> Read more

Personal growth

Why there is no end station

I recently had the pleasure of long conversations about everything deep and meaningful with a friend I’ve known for a while. We are both seekers and self-improvers, observers and always striving to have something touch our hearts and bring us joy.

While we have a different set of meanings to different areas of life, we both have areas of life that seem to have gained an unproportionally big role in happiness, elevating above the rest. For me this has been work, or rather, finding work that feels meaningful and fitting for me. This search has become such an important issue for me, the END STATION, that I loose my cool if (and when) I don’t seem to find it. I search and analyze why every choice I make ends up being ‘not IT’ and the pressure builds up. When do I arrive, when can I stop looking? --> Read more

Intuition, Personal growth

Not all grounds are equally fertile

Happiness is an inside job. We are responsible for our feelings, we are responsible for the way we interpret the events in our environment, how we choose to see ourselves, how we turn the perceived reality into a story in our minds.

But this way of thinking can sometimes be more harmful than constructive.

Whereas it is true, that we create our own reality and can influence the experiences we have, there are still some grounds that are more fertile for us than others.

Not all soil has the same effect on you --> Read more

Personal growth

All things heavy and light

Every time I have added space into my life, every time I have dared to let go, great things have followed. Amazing things, in fact. When I have let go of the crippling feeling of trying to fill any hole within me left by the past, I have stepped into a space of freedom and creativity. But the creativity and freedom never came easy. It was always a struggle to let go, to allow there to be emptiness and space around me, and trusting that life would indeed carry me further.

It was a struggle to let go of my marriage, but it needed to be let loose. Few years after that it was a struggle to start letting go of all the physical things I had gathered around me, and to create space into my life, literally. But once I started, it got easier and easier. The more space there was, the more space I craved for. The more freedom I felt. At the end I was sitting in the middle of my empty apartment, after ridding myself of all things heavy, and I felt so incredibly light. I moved to another country, and had so much space around me. Space in my tiny apartement, space in my calendar, space in my evenings to wonder around and get lost. It was fantastic, because anything could happen. --> Read more

Personal growth

The concept of paradise

It has been 2.5 years since I left Europe and started my island life in the Philippines. It has been 1.5 years since we last set foot in Europe. When we first left, it was paradise that we were heading towards. The white beaches, coconuts, azure sea and abundance of time and nature. Yesterday we landed on European soil again (for a month visit), and as the little image of the airplane kept approaching Europe on the interactive map on the screen in front of me, I felt happier and happier. I felt so blessed to be able to visit what now felt like paradise. --> Read more

Personal growth

I want to be without limits

It surprises me time and time again how much our own thoughts are actually limiting us. I know this, I know how our thoughts are creating the reality we live in, and yet I make up weird stories about myself all the time.

I tell myself: Girl, you are the kind of person who does this, you are the kind of gal who has done that. And then I let my self-made (and often very limiting) definition of myself set in, form a tight box around me until I get so uncomfortable that I cannot move anymore. Only when squeezed and pressed from all sides do I start to think that perhaps I should relocate. I start to look around for a bigger place, a bigger box or a shell, and realize that the walls around me are my own. Nobody is telling me what kind of person I am, or should be (well, actually a lot people are, directly and indirectly, but at the end of the day I decide to play along or not). --> Read more

Personal growth

Mind your personality

For most of my life I have felt mildly misfitting. As if I was not truly fitting where I was, I felt I was different without knowing exactly how. Round pig in a square hole, and it took me a long time to figure out why. Only until I realized that I was a Introverted, Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) and a Sensation Seeker (HSS), that things started to make sense to me.

 In most of my jobs I felt unauthentic to some extent, even in the ones I studied for, not just in the occasional in-between jobs. I felt like I needed to pretend to like it, to fake excitement in the tasks that were expected of me, and this faking actually took a lot of energy. In the beginning of my career I didn’t know any better. I just went along, faking away, thinking everyone must fake it a bit. I always felt somewhat left out when people showed a lot of excitement towards their profession, since I never could really match the enthusiasm some of my colleagues were showing. In the end, I often felt left out because of it. --> Read more

Personal growth

How fast is fast enough?

When changing the course of our lives, what is the appropriate tempo? When do we consider ourselves successful, and when is it considered a failure if we return to do the same things we did before? Is a few months considered a failure, is two years safe from self ridicule when turning around and coming back?

When are we successful with change?

I had an interesting conversation with a fellow life-changer, someone who left her corporate job to do something different, only to realize that maybe some changes in life need a bit more time. We often see others making decisions about their lives, making changes that seem sudden and rash even, making big changes with very little preparation time. --> Read more