During the early summer I was walking the streets of Helsinki, Finland (my home country and city where I lived for 3 years before moving to the Philippines). The sun was shining, my step was light, and I felt the familiar power I had when I used to live there. I was independent, in love, free and felt successful. I was a 30-something urban woman who enjoyed the freedom of double-income-no-kids. Weekends were filled with croissants in bed and dancing in bars.
I write a lot about intuition and about playing with the Universe to manifest things into my life. I write about it because I feel with such certainty and experience that this is something we all can enjoy, and it’s something we can easily do. But if you are not so familiar with your superpowers yet, it can feel very fluffy and intangible. If you have no real life experiences with playful manifesting, it can feel like you don’t know where to start.
I must admit, during the past months I have felt like I have been failing instead of growing. Like I have given up on all that is important, everything I strived so hard for, everything I worked so hard for during the last four years only to return to the same spot where I left years ago.
My body now carries two souls, yours and mine.
My body now carries two hearts, yours right below mine.
Just get here, little one, and I will show you the earth.
I will show you the earth and you will teach me of heaven.
Freedom has always been one of the main motivators and values in my life. The definition of freedom tends to change, but my desire to be free seems to be written into my DNA, encrypted into my bones and imprinted into my soul.
For most of my twenties and thirties (although I still have some of my thirties left) I have been a seeker. I’m always seeking something or someone, seeking my purpose, seeking my passion, questioning everything but never truly finding what I thought I was after.
Something quite unthinkable has happened to me. I have returned to Europe, I have returned to a corporate job, and I am feeling incredibly happy about it! Actually, it feels like freedom.
It seems to be confusing to people when you don’t fit into a ready-made-box. I have noticed how my very existence at the moment makes most people around me confused.
When you lead an unorthodox, rootless and global life, things are often changing quite fundamentally. Today I’m looking out onto the ocean from my familiar garden chair and drinking my morning coffee from my cheerfully pink mug. Yet in a few days I won’t be here anymore. One adventure, one period of my life is ending, and it’s hard for me to process it.
During the past years I have been asking for some practical spiritual guidance. Actually, I was hoping this would come in the form of a person, someone who would be ahead of me in their spiritual journey, someone who could guide me and help me.